Walking with grief
I reflect on a retreat I attended in 2018. An eco-healing retreat in the Tasmanian wilderness. We were a small group, so it was quite intimate. It was adventurous , spiritual, with deep nature immersion , and emotionally healing. Just what the (spirit 💖) doctor ordered.
My favourite highlight (and there were many) was our mountain climb, commencing at 4am, with torches, no moonlight at this time of the month, getting to the top in time for the sunrise.
This was really tough and exhilarating at the same time. My body screamed with pain on the way up. My nervous system screaming in fear. My body wanting to curl up and hide somewhere quiet and invisible.
The unexpected happened as I pressed on, one step at a time. The physical pain and exertion helped me to finally get in touch with deeply held grief. My heart cracked open. The emotions flooded through my body, and tears washed down my face, dripping into the earth at my feet.
I remember stopping in the pre-dawn light and gazing out across the mountains and forest below, mist floating in the valleys. Absolutely breathtaking . I knew in my heart that nature doesn't judge. Nature's way is to be fully present , to express , to create, to ground , to roar , to soar.
Emotions are meant to flow. Out here on this mountain, in this wild place, I felt fully supported by Mother Earth. I felt and heard her rise and wrap me, sooth me, and encourage me to keep going. To feel deeply, and to flow.
And in my moment of truth and connection, I experienced a deep insight into the power of vulnerability. When I am in pure connection with my heart, in love and compassion, i am powerful. And it is liberating.
Returning home to the big city has been interesting. Integrating back to the 'real' world, with my head still in the forest, I've commented many times how easily I adjusted to life in nature, and how difficult it's been getting back to life in the city where I've lived all my life.